Clean House

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In the predawn of the day before Thanksgiving when most people think about the food they’ll be smelling in 24 hours, I reflect with sweat on my brow and most other places on what it takes to get the house ready.

I’ve been sorting things for weeks.  Books on shelves, knick knacks, dishes.  If I don’t get these bags to Goodwill before the grandkids come, they’ll think Santa has paid an early visit.

The race to have presentable surroundings for those I most want to remember them so is on.  I will therefore reveal cleaning tips you might not see elsewhere.

  • You’ll be amazed how much faster your kitchen floor dries if you wear your thickest cotton socks while pushing the automatic steam thing across it.
  • If you knock your head against a globe on the dining room chandelier and dust doesn’t fall like snow, you can probably skip wiping it down.
  • Don’t worry about oven/dishwasher fronts – it’s what’s inside that needs attention.
  • Squirt a little lemon juice over everything that’s not fabric-covered.
  • Windows – I don’t have anything to say about them.  You can either see out them or you can’t.
  • Try not to think how many valuable small items have been sucked up by the sweeper when you’re vacuuming and hear “those” sounds.
  • Every sheet and pillowcase in the house must be sent through the washer and dryer.  This is one time a guest room should look like a magazine photo.
  • Send a note of appreciation to the manufacturer of disposable toilet brushes, which should be named the invention of the last century.

I feel so much better when housecleaning is done.  I’m thankful I don’t have to do it for another year.

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